Give Yourself Love

Feb 14, 2019

It’s Valentines Day,  and it seems to be another commercial holiday … have you noticed how much the same flowers you bought a week ago are now twice as much?

Here’s a concept, give to yourself first. Instead of trying to please everyone else, give to yourself first. Maybe some of you are thinking, well isn’t that selfish? Not really … for example … when the fight attendant on the airplane reminds you to put your oxygen mask on first, and then help another. Makes sense, right?

How can we give to others, when we do not know what it feels like to love ourselves? If you are relying on someone else to make you happy, you are setting yourself up for failure. That responsibility is totally 100 percent up to you. [period]

At the end of every class I teach, I ask students to give thanks to themselves for taking time to slow down to feel and refill their vessel, so they may be there for others. It’s universal law—yin yang—you cannot continue to give from an empty cup, you must continue to replenish yourself. The question I invite you to ponder is, “What does that look/feel like to me?”

We all give love to ourselves in different ways, here’s some things I enjoy:
This list is not in any particular order of preference

  • 10-15 minutes of quiet time while enjoying some wonderful jasmine pearl tea
  • making time for friends, not texting … having real conversations
  • spending time with my teenage daughter [while she still wants to hangout with me]
  • massages / acupuncture / pilates / strength training / yoga
  • reading a book, turning the pages … not on the computer
  • laughing until I snort
  • practicing Qigong and Tai Chi by myself and with others
  • writing in my journal [I am starting a mind-dump one this year … letting that shit go]
  • taking a workshop and being a student
  • watching the Netflix series “Grace & Frankie” […and yes, I already binged season 5]
  • taking conscious deep breaths throughout my day
  • being outside in all of Utah’s seasons and connecting with nature
  • taking a bath with epson salt and some essential oils [and sometimes a glass of red wine]
  • going to a movie by myself
  • dancing […you know that saying, “dance like no one’s watching” ]
  • concerts, especially outside with friends who will dance with me

My intention is to do one of the things listed above every single day. And, I come up with new things to add to my self-love list all the time. I am getting better at giving to myself at least as much as I give to others. Allowing the giving and receiving to continue through me because replenishing myself first allows me be present and there for you.

How do you give to yourself? I invite you to share your ideas in the comments below. What a fun thing to do …learning one more way to love ourselves!


photo: Sharon-McCutcheon,


  1. And giving yourself permission!
    Thanks Toni

    • YES! Great point Rebecca … and give yourself permission.

  2. Going skiing!! Particularly with friends is good medicine ❤️

    • Yes! I love skiing too, and being outdoors with good friends … priceless!


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