Insights from Learning

Apr 20, 2015

I taught my first Desire Map Workshop a couple weekends ago, and each moment of those two days, were inspiring, uplifting and so full of gratitude and joy. Gratitude for facilitating and guiding others to their Core Desired Feelings (CDFs), [while experiencing mine] and a HUGE amount of expanded grateful joy for those who showed up with open hearts, chose to learn, engage, dance, and at times—feel vulnerable. I actually sat down away from everyone while they were doing their solo work at one point, and just felt this huge amount of gratitude for this experience, I was on cloud nine. One of those experiences, you can’t really express in words, because it would diminish it. But, I can tell you, that I felt it with every cell of my BE-ingness.

The workshop took place Friday night and all day Saturday, when Monday rolled around, I became deeply involved with some design projects that needed to be completed. And let’s be honest, my feelings from the workshop seemed to begin to slowly dissipate into space, as I began to refocus and engage in other responsibilities.

I realized on Monday evening, that I had not written my blog for Thursday. I was completely exhausted, from the emotional highs from the workshop, catching up with family on Sunday [plus house chores] to being so focused on design clients, I simply chose not to write.

I chose not to write. That is so hard for me to say, because I made myself a promise of writing to each of you 2x a month and sending it out on Thursdays.

Which brings me to a subject that Sifu Gardner was speaking to us about last week in our T’ai Chi class…

“Being present in the truthfulness of the moment.”

Wow. I have sat with this the past week, and realized at times, it can be challenging to be extremely truthful with yourself in the present moment. And, you know what? That’s okay… it’s better to acknowledge, realize and move forward, than not be truthful with yourself. [Believe me, I know, I’ve done it both ways…]

So, I chose to reconnect again with my personal CDFs, and let go of “trying to be perfect.” For I know I am still learning… sometimes I get off my path… but I choose to get right back on… experiencing the present moment, and being truthful with myself.

The Universe is a kind and compassionate place. I am a kind and compassionate Being.

I choose to live and learn—instead of die and deny.


  1. Toni, thank you so much for the reminder that is okay to not be perfect; that it is okay to choose not to do something when you exhausted; and most importantly, to let go of the doubt and disappointment when you ‘fail’ at doing something. I think we often push ourselves to do things even when we are not feeling our best, and usually end up more exhausted for it. Thank you for having the courage to listen to what you needed, and to share it with all of us :)

    • Dear Margaret,
      Thank you for your heartfelt comment, it’s nice to know what I wrote is relatable, and may somehow be insightful. I began this website to share my experiences, and hearing back from you warmed my heart. I truly believe, “Absolutely everything is progress.” ~Danielle LaPorte #quote


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