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Posted on Jan 21, 2016 in Chi Moments, Transformational Thursdays

T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak

T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak

Thinking before you speak sounds easy, but for me it seems to be somewhat of a challenge. Maybe it’s because I was born in the year of the snake, and my sharp-tongue seems to get me into trouble.

Lately, I have become more aware of it, and now it’s time to let it go. When someone else points it out to you [as was done to me] — it may not be pretty — but I do believe truth creates an opening. Over the holidays, my husband shared some truth about my actions/reactions, and it was hard to swallow. I am grateful for his vulnerablity in sharing, and I promised him and myself to do better.

Recently, while reading various articles on the web, I came across an ancroymn for THINK. As many of you know, I love acroymns and this one seemed to be screaming at me. [I believe there are no coincidences.]

I am doing my best to practice this BEFORE I speak and ask myself:

[T] Is this True?
Is what I have to say true? And, when I mean true, is it true for me? Is this how I really feel? Not, what someone else thinks, what I heard, what I read, etc. But, is it true for ME?

[H] Is this Helpful?
Is what I am about to say helpful to the other person? Or, is it my ego wanting to spew some words. Am I sharing insight or random thoughts?

[I] Is this Inspiring?
Will my words be inspiring, and uplift the other person, or I am I just talking to be talking.

[N] Is this Necessary?
I feel this one is discretionary from the perspective of the one listening. Do I feel this is something they need to know, or do I just want to share. For example, when someone is speaking from their heart, and I jump in to share a similar story, is that really necessary? [Sometimes it can be — other times — not so much.]

[K] Is this Kind?
Is what I am about to say kind? Even if I find it to be true, helpful and necessary, can I say it in a way that is kind and inspiring?

I believe working with this T.H.I.N.K. process will help clarify anything I do not understand. It also allows me to ask questions and slow down with my reply. [Funny, isn’t slowing down a concept I teach all the time?] Asking questions sheds some light on exactly what the other person is saying. Instead of assuming what they are about to say. [We all know where assuming gets us… an ass-u-me.]

Thanks for letting me in and sharing my life experiences with you. As you can see, I am constantly learning, growing and doing my best to live what I teach — beginning again in each moment. My wish for all of us, is that we do find perfection in our own unique journeys.


On a different note, but along the lines of communication, I read an article by Jason Garner, Two Questions to Explore in a Disagreement. His questions are very thought provoking:

1) Who am I when someone I love disagrees with me?
2) Who are my loved ones to me when we disagree?

I found his answers to be insightful and relatable, maybe you will too… [live link above on article title]


  1. Hi Toni – thank you so much for your timely post. I’m born in/under (?) a moon sign or something like that and I love seeing the cycles of the moon. Your reminder to let go and make room is powerful. I’m en route to Beijing for a week and hope to see the moon on Saturday if the air pollution isn’t too horrible. I’ll keep your words and thoughts close to me and send you good vibes!

    • Rebecca, sending you good vibes with safe travels. No moon sighting for us tonight, it’s really cloudy and rainy. I hope you have better luck in Beijing. Thanks for your kind comments…

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