Thinking before you speak sounds easy, but for me it seems to be somewhat of a challenge. Maybe it’s because I was born in the year of the snake, and my sharp-tongue seems to get me into trouble.
Lately, I have become more aware of it, and now it’s time to let it go. When someone else points it out to you [as was done to me] — it may not be pretty — but I do believe truth creates an opening. Over the holidays, my husband shared some truth about my actions/reactions, and it was hard to swallow. I am grateful for his vulnerablity in sharing, and I promised him and myself to do better.
Recently, while reading various articles on the web, I came across an ancroymn for THINK. As many of you know, I love acroymns and this one seemed to be screaming at me. [I believe there are no coincidences.]
I am doing my best to practice this BEFORE I speak and ask myself:
[T] Is this True?
Is what I have to say true? And, when I mean true, is it true for me? Is this how I really feel? Not, what someone else thinks, what I heard, what I read, etc. But, is it true for ME?
[H] Is this Helpful?
Is what I am about to say helpful to the other person? Or, is it my ego wanting to spew some words. Am I sharing insight or random thoughts?
[I] Is this Inspiring?
Will my words be inspiring, and uplift the other person, or I am I just talking to be talking.
[N] Is this Necessary?
I feel this one is discretionary from the perspective of the one listening. Do I feel this is something they need to know, or do I just want to share. For example, when someone is speaking from their heart, and I jump in to share a similar story, is that really necessary? [Sometimes it can be — other times — not so much.]
[K] Is this Kind?
Is what I am about to say kind? Even if I find it to be true, helpful and necessary, can I say it in a way that is kind and inspiring?
I believe working with this T.H.I.N.K. process will help clarify anything I do not understand. It also allows me to ask questions and slow down with my reply. [Funny, isn’t slowing down a concept I teach all the time?] Asking questions sheds some light on exactly what the other person is saying. Instead of assuming what they are about to say. [We all know where assuming gets us… an ass-u-me.]
Thanks for letting me in and sharing my life experiences with you. As you can see, I am constantly learning, growing and doing my best to live what I teach — beginning again in each moment. My wish for all of us, is that we do find perfection in our own unique journeys.
1) Who am I when someone I love disagrees with me?
2) Who are my loved ones to me when we disagree?
I found his answers to be insightful and relatable, maybe you will too… [live link above on article title]