This written insight comes from a dear friend, Krissy Hodges, who gave me permission to share it with you. She is a heart-centered entrepreneur, supporting and empowering her clients to connect with the power of the Divine Feminine & Masculine within themselves.
I have learned a lot about myself through her yearly astrological and clarity sessions, I have received since 2015. Also earlier this year, I was part of her Self Aware Souls (SAS) a 3-month group where I learned even more. I look forward to meeting her in person one day, and giving her a big hug. You see she lives in the UK, and I also look forward to meeting the lovely people I have met through the SAS group.
This insight really resonates with me, I hope it does with you too!
Obligation is feeling morally ‘duty bound’ and it often takes away our power to check in with what is right for us and say ‘no’. We often feel there’s no choice as we fear we’ll let someone down, lose their love, respect or support or that we will be judged in a negative way. If we say no to obligation, it can leave us with a deep sense of guilt.
Obligation can often lead to frustration or resentment as we end up saying yes to things we don’t want to do or sacrificing our own needs, in order to fulfill someone else’s. Obligation exists most strongly between parent and child & it doesn’t just stop when we leave home. We will continue to feel obligated by our parent’s morals & expectations, regardless of our age ~ particularly if we’re codependent.
We then take this mental programming into our adult relationships and whether our partner wants us to feel obligated to them or not, we will behave in that way, simply because that is how our brain is wired. We can all relate to this feeling of obligation. If you close your eyes now and imagine being asked by someone to do something that you don’t really want to do, particularly a parent or family member ~ where in your body can you feel that? For me, it’s a tightness and constriction in the centre of the body and a clenching in my gut. Emotionally, it’s a nervy, unhappy, slightly anxious feeling.
Service on the other hand is something that comes from our heart or is led by our intuition. It doesn’t come from the head. When we are truly in service, we can say no if it comes at a sacrifice of our own needs or something doesn’t feel right ~ and we don’t feel any guilt. True service makes us feel good, even if we work our fingers to the bone. There is never any resentment or fear of judgement if we don’t live up to other people’s expectations. Service is showing up to give with no desire or need for anything in return (such as acceptance, validation or love). When we feel into the energy of service in our body, it is open, expansive and personally, makes me feel positive and happy. When closing my eyes and remembering a time of being in service to someone, there’s an open, lovely energy around the heart and I can’t help, but smile or feel good. The key to being in service is in being able to serve yourself FIRST and knowing that it is NOT selfish to do so. Only then can we fully serve others.
: Obligation comes from the mind
: Service comes from the heart
: Obligation can make us feel negative, guilty or constricted
: Service only makes us feel free or positive
: Obligation can take away our power
: Service is being in our power
: Obligation can feel draining
: Service feels energising, even if we’ve worked long hours
Learning the difference between these two states of being can make all the difference to your quality of life. Live from a heart-based place of service, not a head-based place of obligation.
You can learn more about Krissy Hodges on her on her website, Serendipity Crystals.