I am so happy to report that I made it through 12-weeks of chemotherapy without being nauseous, having any pain and I continued to teach 2x a week at Huntsman. I did have [and still do] a little chemo-fatigue, and some slight neuropathy in my toes.
My chemo journey began with once a week treatments on April 26th and my last infusion was July 12. During this time, I have really had a chance to experience what slowing down and feeling is without forcing things to happen. Lucky me, I get to continue this opportunity as I begin radiation at the end of August. [Sigh]
I am realizing through this experience that the abundance in life exists beyond the goals I set. Abundance exists in this very moment — right now — embracing all life has to offer. [And for me lately, that is sometimes a nap ;-] I am learning to find peace in the moment and to trust the journey.
When teaching — students often hear me repeat, “When we take the time to slow down and feel, we cannot force. When we force, we cannot feel.” What do I mean by that? Let’s take driving for an example. You’re on the freeway and traffic seems to be stuck. So what do you do? You switch lanes a few times hoping to force yourself to move faster, and get ahead of it. Sound familiar?
Now, take that same example of being stuck in slow traffic, what if instead of switching lanes, you chose to go with the flow — stay in your lane — and feel. Feel your breath, your body, maybe even turn on the radio and sing in the car to your favorite song. Trust that the this traffic jam isn’t going to last forever. Wouldn’t that be better than getting all frustrated over the traffic? Which you have no control over. So why not take control of how you respond — inside your car — your body / mind / spirit.
One thing I continuously learn as I go through this C-Adventure is:
- Uncertain is Certain.
- It takes Courage to surrender to the unknown.
And to BE (breathe & expand) in your own flow.
- Having Faith — that no matter what I will be alright.
I believe when we force life, we are opening ourselves up to greater problems. When we let go and surrender, we seem to flow through life and traffic. Please know, I begin again everyday [sometimes a few times during the same day] reminding myself to slow down. I am by no means a master, it’s a continuous practice.
I also choose to use slowing down and feeling when I have a decision to make. I wait, feel and listen. Does this make me feel excited? Then I go for it. Does it bring me confusion and/or stress? Then I usually say, no.
Bottom line? Take some time to slow down, yes, I know it’s uncomfortable at times, but the only way to get through things is to feel them, acknowledge them, then you can let go. If you are forcing things, hurrying yourself, you may miss the abundance in that present moment, the nowness.
REMEMBER: Slow Down. Breathe. Feel. Repeat.