Learning to embrace life as it is now—does this sound hard? Is that happening in your life, or are you wishing that somehow it was different? Maybe a better job, closer relationships, more flexibility with your time, real conversations, global peace, less critical of yourself and of others?

What if I shared a secret with you about embracing life as it is? You can! You can do it in this present moment. [No, I don’t have a crystal ball, or a magic wand.] What I do have is experience in learning to shift my focus—my perspective. [Let me interject here, when I remember to change my focus. This is something, I consistently work on… it’s a daily practice. I get stressed just like the rest of you.]

When I consciously change my focus, I can immediately let go of what no longer serves me. Which at times can be added stress, which my teacher reminds me that, “Stress is the fabrication of your delusional mind.” And, Eckhart Tolle states, “Stress is being here, and wanting to be there.” Sound familiar?

So, how does one begin to shift focus? For me, it all begins with conscious breathing, bringing myself back into my body and out of my head. Once I feel more centered and grounded, usually after three deep breaths, I begin to shift my focus.

I begin to notice my heart rate slowing down, I can feel myself physically relaxing and mentally letting go. Then, I ask myself, how to I want to feel, in this moment in time… not what do I want to do, but how do I want to feel?

For me, this comes back to my Core Desired Feelings (CDFs). Not how can I change the situation, but how do I want to feel about it? Connected? Fearless? Authentic? At peace? Happy? I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

Danielle LaPorte, author of The Desire Map, reminds us, “We need to get our of our heads—because that’s not where your truth springs from. Your mind helps you act on your feelings. It’s your strategist and your activator. But your core desired feelings come from the center of your heart.”

Back to the stress example, when you find yourself in this situation, take three deep breathes, feel your body, then ask yourself how do you want to feel? You can start with feeling the opposite of stressed—relaxed, calm, peaceful, engaged, in flow, inspired or empowered. Whatever resonates with you. 

When we change our focus, we begin to embrace life as it is, and we simply feel better.

On Sunday, November 8 & 15, I will be leading a Desire Map Workshop, where we will dig deep, lean in and discover 3-5 CDFs we want to embrace everyday, no matter what situation we find ourselves in….

I have been practicing this for a couple years now, and it really works, sometimes the CDFs can flow and change, other times, they are with you for a long time. I know connection was one of mine at first, this past year, it has changed to authentic connection. I choose not to just connect with others, I want it to be authentic, raw, and real…

The next time you notice yourself getting all tense about one thing or another, shift your focus, breathe, and ask yourself, “How do I want to feel?” And, keep practicing….

I still have a few spots open for November, if you feel like joining us!